My Amazing Abilities At Self Sabotage

I have astounded myself, yet again. After procrastinating repeatedly about doing the glucometer ketones test, I finally set it up and calibrated it. The one screen I couldn't seem to change was the mg-mmmol. I still can't tell you if that makes a difference, because this morning was an EPIC FAIL on doing the test. First, I couldn't find the clear cap (maybe because it was clear and in one of several plastic bags in the package). Then I found it and had no trouble inserting the lancet. However, getting my hands warm took some time. I should have had a warm cup of coffee or two before and during this experiment. So now I'm already for the test. Hands warmer if not completely warm. First mistake. Not getting the test strip out and into the glucometer. Even after reading the instructions twice, I'm so intent upon the bloodletting, that I try that first. I think I was being a bit squeamish about it while I procrastinated for a couple of weeks. That made me want to jump to that part and get it over with first. So let me tell you, you need to set the lancet holder stabber device to 8. There's no 11. It's a spring loaded thing which you pull back on, position the clear cap and hit a button which releases the pin point. Doesn't hurt. I knew from reading Jimmy Moore's Blogabout this process, that I was going to need several drops of blood. Now mind you, I still don't have the test strip out of its foil package and I'm squeezing my finger tip to get a big drop of blood. Then I realize my mistake, and awkwardly get the test strip out and apply the proper end to the drop of blood. Then, and only then, do I insert the test strip into the meter. I get an E-7 reading. Test strip error. So I do the entire process again, only this time with the test strip in the monitor before stabbing my finger. This time I get a reading of E-3. There may be a problem with the test strip. Sigh, do I have to call Abbott Labs customer service? Please, god, NO! Then I notice the first test strip has blood all over it, because of my bungling. It even had blood on the dark strips on the side that you insert into the glucometer. Could there be blood in the meter covering up the sensors or whatever you call them? Quite possibly, but how do you clean this out? I will attempt rubbing alcohol on the end of a test strip and see if I can clean it that way. If not, I will give up an hour or three of my time to wait on hold for Abbott Labs customer service. My Queen of Self Sabotage title remains unchallenged!!!